We rarely talk about it out loud, but how others make us feel shapes a huge part of how we move through life. A stranger’s smile can brighten an otherwise grey morning. A sharp comment from a friend can linger for days. Even subtle things - tone, body language, silence - can stay with us longer than we expect.
It's not just about being "too sensitive" or "overthinking." It’s human. We’re wired to connect, and connection means vulnerability. Every interaction is a small exchange of energy, and sometimes that energy lifts us up. Other times, it leaves us drained or uncertain.
I’ve been thinking a lot about how the people in my life make me feel. Not what they say, not what they do for me - but the emotional space I inhabit when I’m around them.
Do I feel safe? Do I feel seen?
Or do I feel like I’m constantly editing myself, minimising my voice, walking on eggshells?
A Moment That Stuck With Me
One of the people who consistently makes me feel like crap is someone close to me.
I’ve always loved them, and we’ve had our good moments, but over time, the way they treat me has begun to feel suffocating. There’s no space for me to be myself around them - everything is inspected. Every decision I make is met with constant questioning, like they’ve keeping track of my every move, as though I’m still a child.
The questions are always inappropriate, always invasive. Only a week ago, I shared that a guy I was seeing were doing well - happy, enjoying spending time together – and their response wasn’t a “That’s great” or “I’m happy for you.” No, it was: “Well, have you had sex yet?” Like somehow that detail was the key to understanding the worth of my relationship. Why does it matter? Why does it feel like it’s always about measuring me against their standards, instead of just accepting me as I am?
And it’s not just one conversation. It’s always like this - comments on how I live my life, on my choices, my relationships, even the smallest decisions. They have this way of making me feel like I’m never good enough, like I need to be constantly “approved”, as if I owe them an explanation for every part of my life. And in doing so, it leaves me questioning myself.
I realised I needed to set some boundaries. It isn’t easy but I have to stop letting them make me feel guilty for simply living my life the way I want to. I’ve started to distance myself from the conversations where I felt judged, where their expectations overshadowed my own desires. I’ve began to say no to some questions or simply ignore them. It isn’t disrespectful, but it was necessary to protect my wellbeing and mental health.
The truth is: how someone makes you feel isn’t a minor detail. It’s a signal. It’s a whisper from your intuition saying: “Pay attention.”
And it's worth listening to.
We don't always get to choose who we spend time with - especially when it’s family. But where we can choose, we owe it to ourselves to be intentional. To lean into the people who make us feel comfortable, not smaller. Supported, not judged. Encouraged, not second-guessed.
We may not control others, but we can control what we absorb. Protect your peace. Value the people who see the light in you and help it grow. And don’t ignore that inner tug when something (or someone) doesn’t sit right.
"People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."
— Maya Angelou
Because how you feel is valid—and it deserves to be heard.
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